RANT 101

Sometimes i feel like giving up on you because it seems like i'm the only one trying. But at the same time i love you too much to let go.

people fall in love not knowing why nor how, its because love is a special feeling that doesn't require much answers, you just love.. no matter how stupid you become...

A lot of us have built dreams with people we hoped would be with us forever... only to wake up in the world of reality that nothing's permanent in this world. Love comes and goes. People stay and leave. LIFE IS A CYCLE of finding and losing, of making and breaking, of living and dying. That's how reality bites and that's how people learn the flow of life.

sister's 18th birthday

happy birthday, Butch

July 11, 2010

my sister turned 18..

we didn't really have a big celebration

hence, my sister liked it that way...

she wanted it at the beach.. so everybody went there..

her classmates, our cousins, and our neighbors..

and i kinda wondered why her boyfriend was not there..

haha if i were him, i wouldn't miss it for the world :P haha

ps: thank you DAD for giving us this party.. WE LOVE YOU BIG TIME :)

me, cousin and his first baby, Jynyx

the visitors :D

and that's my sister right there about to blow her candle..

TO THE BEACH!!!

Fionna and I :)

us :)

with mom

From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUTCH

This is happiness

wanna know what happiness is?

this is...

Kayrel...

and Eric making faces.. haha

boyfriend cooking for breakfast

and of course, whoring :)

little things make me happy.. even the tiniest thing there is as long as it's real happiness..

im just a shallow person i laugh very easily, i cry very easily and i fall very easily.. haha

i may be shallow but im still strong :)

weeee

29th of may 2010

it was an unplanned getaway.. but my bestfriend keeps on asking me to go back to moalboal and have my birthday there.. i didn't agree because my parents wouldn't want to hence, i have no money left.. haha broke much.. anyways, the day before my birthday, she called me up and told me that they will definitely be going back there and that i have to come and without thinking twice, i said, "yes". hahaha so i called up Popoi and told him that i will celebrate my birthday there..

the next day,...

we arrived at Moalboal around 10am.. bought foods and drinks at the wet market..

after we're settled with foods and drinks, we went to Basdako
and ended up at Barefoot Resort.. it was a big room actually..

and then, Popoi and Billy built a fire for the guys to cook

after eating i could hardly wait to take a dip in the ocean

so i asked popoi to come with me.. thanks poi :*

that's my bestfriend over there.. :)

us.. :)

after some pictorial, we had a little drink and a disco.. haha

the laptop didn't work so we used mami's iphone instead...

we all got tired so we decided to sit at the sand and continue

our drinking session there :) hehe

whoring.. after laugh trip..

night time came and we never slept.. both of us.. haha

photo taken around 4am after a 3am breakfast..

coffee at 6am.. :)

and my last dip at the ocean :( *sob*

check out time was 12pm but we asked the lady to extend for an hour because we had a lot of stuffs to pack.. so she agreed because we're returning guests.. haha so after packing, it's time to say Goodbye, Basdako.. awwww

L-R: Popoi, ME, Fanny Gurl, Mami, Bianca

my bday was a blast... sooooooo much... thank u for everything :* love u guys.. soo much

text...

after a week prior to the Moalboal getaway, the guy i've mentioned on the recent blog, his name was... uhm i call him POI :), texted me.. actually, we became textmates.. and then, BOOM... haha

if you know what i mean ;)

Moalboal getaway

Last May 13, 2010, my neighbor friends and i went to moalboal for a summer treat to ourselves.

L-R: Ejeiy, ME, Jobo, Mico

we went there just to have fun and swim at the beach and besides, it was a fiesta week. So we did have fun the probinsya style. ive met a lot of new faces (gangster, tambay, workaholic, fratman).

There's this one guy (Ejiey's cousin) who seem to look like me ex.. and my friends kept on telling me that they looked exactly alike.. but i didn't believed them. as much as i want to stare at that guy, they never looked alike.

at Basdako

stayed there for 4 days at Lolo's house (Ejiey's lolo).. had lots of fun..

they 'gangsters' they helped us out somehow

ahh the sunset.. just perfect..

so anyways, after 4 days, me and a close childhood friend went home first BUT before that, everybody wants to take picture of me and the guy i mentioned earlier.. so here's the pic...

and to my dismay, he really did look like him.. haha

damn Moalboal.. that was a hell of a 4-day fun :)

stop crossing my mind!

i was almost there! im almost over him.. until one sunny afternoon, a friend told me about him.. and everything about us just went berserk on my mind... *siiigh* i know this is not healthy anymore.. :( how can i ever forget him when he got sooo much to be remembered tsk..

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!

I want to rant!

it's 4am and i could hardly sleep.. i thought im going to bed at 2.30am but when i lay in bed, a lot of heavy flashback came and it totally hurts me.. so i got up check my facebook, chat with my good friend and watched Gossip Girl. after that, i thought im ok but then again, im not.. i know this is sooo late because it's already 2 months after the break up.. i also thought that i have gotten over it but i guess i havent. as much as i want to have fun and enjoy, at the end of it, i know im sad and i cant help it..

this has been so far my worst emotional torture ever made.. i dont like it anymore but i cant help it..it keeps on coming back.. i know i can do this but i need time.. my friends are there but it's just not enough.. everytime i have a message in facebook, i hoped it's you.. when i open my mail, i hoped i have a mail from u, everytime my phone beeps, i hoped it's you, everytime there's an incoming international call, i hoped it's you but everything i hoped for never came and i realized that im stupid of still holding on to you when i know that he's happy communicating with somebody else there.. it's crazy i know and I HOPE SOMEDAY OR JUST EVEN FOR ONE DAY YOU WILL NOT CROSS MY MIND.. its sucks, right? *sigh*

... i suddenly realized that the way to get over you isn't hooking up with some random guy or pretending like we didn't happen... you and i loved each other... and then you broke my heart :( I've been doing everything possible not to face that fact... you said that i will meet somebody worthy than you.. oh yes i will.. and when i do, i'll do it for myself and not for us.. Bye YOU...

i'll find my way back to myself...

Finally, I've Graduated

after all those years, I've finally graduated! weeeee
(im supposed to graduate last 2008 but i stopped and then shifted to another course and stopped again and then i was enlightened and yeah, i continue studying already.. hahaha)
no more school works, friggen clearance and deadlines! yahoo!!
but i know it would be hard for me since i've already graduated but still i don't have work yet! haha
and NO MORE ALLOWANCE! deym! well, it's ok as long as i don't have to go to school >:) muhahaha

so yea, i would like to thank from the bottom of my heart, my MOM for always being there for supporting me financially, emotionally and physically.. and my DAD even though he's not around but he's the one who makes everything possible :) so thank you guys for not giving up on me :)

want to also thank my aunts and cousins for all kinds of support they can give me :) weeee you guys are soooo super duper kind to me ..MAMI RHOCEL, PRINCESS and more more more i won't mention too much names.. you know who you are :) hehe THANK YOU.. for the efforts from emotions to physical to monetary.. nyhahaha..see you around :*

my professors for understanding.. weeeeeeee finally no more "sir-please-let-me-pass" line.. haha.. THANK YOU.. if not for you, i will not graduate this year haha..

my cyber friends who helped me do my researches everytime i can't find them on the net.. i've learned a lot from u guys.. :)

and finally for my friends, who are always there with or without red horse! haha really thank you VB Tambays :*

The After-effect

*thanx for the dolphin necklace*

I was crying for the whole afternoon of February 22, 2010. I went to starbucks with a friend who comforted me while i was crying in front of many people and i didn't care. Then I went to my best friend's house (I'm from Lapu-Lapu, she's from Banawa) to tell her everything she said, "As of now, don't mind him, what matters most is that you're graduating." hahaha and that did cheer me up.. weeee. Thank you mami and rex.. After that, i went shopping :)


The day after that was our ApEx. I thought i'll be crying on board and during our tour but i didn't. Instead, i was very busy doing the ApEx, met a lot of old and new friends and was having fun. Though i was thinking about him, but it didn't weaken me nor did it shed tears on my face. I was thinking why didn't i cry hahaha silly me. But yeah, i was readying myself to cry because i cry very very easily. Maybe this is because at first, i was expecting that we will not last that long because of LDR.

Anyways, there are stages of heartbreak and these are:

• Denial
• Pain and Guilt
• Anger
• Depression
• Acceptance and moving on

and i think that im on the stage of ANGER.. hehe yes honestly im sooo angry now that i want to slap him as hard as i can and i want to do it now and since i can't do it, i just keep myself busy and thank God im really busy now with my OJT and Graduation. They say, heartbreak is a long, long process.. yes it is unless if you're busy.. hehe you can't feel that you are heart broken. and honestly i don't wanna feel heart broken anymore because i've been through that process and it's really hard to recover. The best thing for a broken heart is to be patient and allow time to settle all unresolved feelings. :)

..i learned a lot from this love thing! hhaha