it's over

Friday Feb 19 2010, i had my retreat but i stayed online and he was online also, so we chat for a little while but he went out cuz he's sleepy and he told me he will mail me the next day..

Saturday Feb 20, 2010, i waited til evening but no mail has arrived..hmmm i kind of dont feel like it..

Sunday Feb 21, 2010, i saw his updates on his facebook so i supposed he's online so i checked my mail right away but i still didn't receive any. i posted something on his wall but he didn't replied.. i was starting to get worried :( then after some hours, i saw another update of him, making a reply in a picture comment of his friends i was really annoyed..

Monday Feb 22, 2010, i emailed to remind him that today is our monthsary (1yr, 9mos) still no reply but at around 11am, he went online and offline @ ym then he used his old account, still going online and offline so i ask him what happened to him and then after a few minutes, he replied.. "don't wait for me" i thought it was just a joke but it wasnt..

to make the long story short, HE broke up with me.. his first reason was he is having problems with his family and then i was wondering how does our relationship connect to it so i kept on bugging him.. he told me our relationship will never work because he's not coming back. tears fell and as much as i want to stop crying, i just can't. mom asked me why am i crying again, i didnt answer.. the tears just went flowing very fast i cant hold it.

i tried a lot of ways to keep our LDR work but it just didnt. but in the first place, he told me to never give up on him no matter what, and he wants me to wait for him no matter how long.. but look at it now, look who's giving up already? i could hardly understand his reasons at all, if he want this relationship works, then he would find ways i kept on suggesting but he said, "NO!" no matter what i do, it just wouldn't work, according to him.. something is really not good in here i have to find it out..he said there's no 3rd party involved it's just that he's not going back anymore at all.

whatever the reason is, i just hope he'll be fine there.. i wasted 3 months of my life thinking that he still loves me and would never leave me.. but i was fooled for 3 months i didn't realize that he'll be leaving me.. im blinded by his promises he told me not to worry but he made me do so..he told me that he'll come back for me but he won't be. welli dont really care if he won't be coming back anymore, as long as we're still holding on it's fine but he said he wont hold on anymore so let it be :( cant do anything about it..

so long eric :) thank you for everything..i'll be missing every little bit of u :) hehe